These and similar scriptures have been used by religion to teach that if we have any unforgiveness towards anyone, we aren’t forgiven by God for our own sins.
Yet most Christians that have been told that they have unforgiveness by others, don’t necessarily have unforgiveness.
An unwillingness to associate with those that have severely hurt us is not unforgiveness.
An unwillingness to trust someone again that has lost our trust is not unforgiveness.
Unforgiveness is when we should have compassion towards another person’s error or weakness, but instead have no compassion or understanding for them.
Did you know that when someone hurts you, they are showing weakness?
It takes energy to get angry or to hurt someone else, but the stronger person is the one who forgives.
God is the source of our strength!
He gives us the strength to forgive.
Because we have been forgiven, we should have forgiveness for others.
God has forgiven the sins of the entire world, and He is not counting then against us. This scripture was written before the New Covenant was established, and we have the Holy Spirit as our assurance of God’s love for us.
Does this assurance of salvation mean that we can have unforgiveness and get away with it?
Like any sin, we never truly get away with it.
There are consequences to every sin. Some of those consequences lead to physical death. Others lead to less-permanent consequences.
God has not promised to take away the consequences of our sins while we are on the Earth, but He does assure us that we are forgiven.
It is easy to talk about forgiveness until you are actually faced with having to forgive someone.
How do you know of you have forgiven them?
None of us “earned” God’s love or forgiveness.
Neither can anyone “earn” our forgiveness.
If you cannot have compassion for someone that has hurt you, then you have not completely forgiven them.
What kind of compassion?
The kind that longs for them to see who they can be in Christ.
The kind that longs for them to understand how righteous they can be in Christ.
The kind that wouldn’t wish anything bad to happen to them. (I’m not talking about man’s justice for broken laws. We all must bear the consequences of laws that we break.) Yet we shouldn’t want people to suffer, receive some greater punishment from God or for anything evil to come upon them, including death.
Did you expect me to say that we should want them to be repaid for what they’ve done?
That is not compassion, and unfortunately, that is what many Christians are taught.
According to God, all of us have fallen short of His grace.
Yet God’s love reached down and saw us in our sin and had compassion for us.
He had compassion for us when were at our worst, not at our best.
Forgiveness is not just a one-time choice. We must forgive and forgive and forgive and forgive….
Jesus said that we must forgive our brother even 70 times 7!
That is 490 times!
Are you keeping score of those who offend you? God isn’t.
God isn’t repaying people for hurting you with judgment, because Christ died for their sins!
When you won’t forgive someone, you should know that God isn’t on “your side”.
Unforgiveness hurts YOU more than anyone else.
Yet, unforgiveness can create a condition in your heart that causes you to respond to those around you in negative ways, even when they aren’t the person that you are upset with.
Unforgiveness can become a root from which “bitter waters” flow in our soul, poisoning us and all those around is that we interact with.
God wants “living waters” to flow from us to others.
Forgiveness is already finished in Christ, but for us, it is a choice we must make.
You might say, “I could never forgive that person for what they’ve done to me”.
You say that you “can’t forgive them”, but God already has forgiven them.
Saying that you “can’t” forgive someone is not true. You CAN forgive, but you choose not to.
Your unforgiveness doesn’t hurt them, and it doesn’t hurt God, but it causes damage in your own soul.
Sometimes, when we won’t forgive, we are not really angry with the other person at all. We are angry at God and ourselves.
We must be willing to forgive ourselves and also realize that God never needs to be forgiven, since He did not cause the issue.
God doesn’t command us to trust those that have proven themselves untrustworthy to us.
God DOES command us to love one another as He has loved us.
John 15:12 KJV
[12] This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.
Forgiveness isn’t easy.
It can take time, but don’t let it poison your soul into bitterness.
Choose to be stronger than those that have hurt you.
If it seems too difficult to forgive, ask God to give you the strength.
Let His love and His righteousness build in your heart and leave no room for unforgiveness.